Fiction by H and Me

H and I made up stories tonight. It was so much fun and we were laughing pretty hard.

Chapter 1
Once upon a time there was a woman with two beautiful daughters. One was a baby and the other one was a smart, funny, curious little girl who went to school and liked to play with her friends.

Chapter 2
The woman and her oldest daughter decided to take over the world. They had to have an army so they told the President to give them his. The daughter was so smart that the President agreed. When the woman and her daughter saw how easy this was they went to every country and did the same thing. Soon, they had a very big army.

Chapter 3
After a month all the armies in the world belonged to the woman and her daughter. Since they had power over all the armies they basically ruled the world. The daughter decided to be President and she made the baby Vice President. With her girls in charge the woman was happy and she retired.

The End.

1. Call with my mentor.
   
2. Balance.
3. Doing homework.
4. Crossing things off my to do list.
5. Keeping my to do list going.
   
6. L'shanah tovah! (For a good new year)
7. A new perspective on atonement and my relationship with a Higher Power.
   
8. 20 sit-ups and 10 push-ups.
9. My husband.
10. Family dinners - it's fun to do this most nights of the week with my husband and kids. We only did this occasionally when I was growing up.
11. Making up silly stories with H.
12. Washing cloth diapers and knowing each time I use one that is one less diaper in a landfill.
13. Star Wars costumes for Halloween.
14. Watching H be a carefree kid.
15. Watching C crawl all around the room and get into everything she possibly can.
16. Calling to wish my sister-in-law happy birthday.
17. Learning how to fingerloop braid today.
18. Feeding C new foods even though she only seems to like Cheerios.
19. Getting H to be early tonight after she's been sleeping in later and later.
20. The baby took really good naps today.

1. Feeding C breakfast.
2. Putting laundry away in the A.M. instead of at night when I'm pooped.
   
3. A good night's sleep!!!!! I really needed it.
4. Being a mom to 2 wonderful little girls.
5. Cuddling with H in her bed this morning even though I knew we overslept and she was going to have to get ready quickly to leave on time.
6. Listening to H play violin all weekend, she LOVED her lesson.
7. My favorite craft blogs.
8. Using cloth diapers.
9. A vegetarian dinner for H who wants to explore something new.
10. Saving money at the grocery store.
11. Heroes.
12. Watching Sean and C play together.
13. H behaving in the grocery store.
14. H's A+ on her vocab assignment. She was very proud of herself (as was I).
15. Quiet.
16. Solitude (in reasonable doses).
17. Sobriety.
18. Changing my perspective - looking at my part more and anyone else's less (a lot less!).
19. My to do list.
20. Korean food.

1. Another fun birthday meeting.
2. The "tag" format the meeting took after the birthdays. I'd heard about that style of meeting but hadn't been to one yet - neat.
3. Connection to Higher Power.
4. Finishing the family room.
   
5. Sean did most of the work to finish the family room, he was really motivated this weekend.
6. Sean understanding how tired I am and not thinking twice about jumping in and doing most of the work himself.
7. Pizza for dinner.
8. H asking me to be her mentor.
9. C is cutting more teeth (am I really grateful for this? It's a milestone for her but less sleep for me, lol).
10. Sushi dinner with my parents.
11. Remembering to pick up the Sunday paper.
12. Clipping coupons.
13. Seeing a friend who just had a baby.
14. Seeing pictures of her beautiful new baby girl.
15. Holding my chatty baby girl at the meeting.
    
16. Watching people eye C and smile/laugh when she's babbling.
17. Having H at the second meeting.
18. Watching H sit with a friend.
    
19. My family.
20. Putting the family room back together after being a disaster all weekend.

1. Becca coming over to decorate her graduation cup.
2. Decorating the family saucer for Becca's graduation.
3. Being with Becca at her graduation.
4. Hearing everyone's kind words for Becca.
   
5. The Cho Show.
6. Sean getting to work from home on Fridays.
7. Sean painting while I was gone. I thought he was going to wait till I came home but he started early and got a lot done before I got back.
8. Authenticity.
9. Gratitude!!!!!
10. Being ok with feelings. Even uncomfortable ones.
11. My kids.
12. The baby's silly antics tonight.
13. H's excitement for her first violin lesson tomorrow.
14. Getting closer to getting it right.
15. My Higher Power.
16. The journey.
17. Good friends.
18. New babies.
19. Hope.
20. The fresh feeling after I wash my face before bed.

1. Coffee and a banana w/crunchy peanut butter for breakfast.
2. Sitting at school last night doing homework outside, listening to live music and watching the sunset.
3. Chatting with Best Friend all the way home.
   
4. C's silly face when she felt the morning breeze.
5. Walking H part of the way to school.
   
6. Meditation and prayer.
7. Learning more new things.
8. Looking at art.
9. Not doing much today.
   
10. It's almost Friday.
11. Finding new blogs to read all day.
12. Watching the season premieres of my favorite shows all week.
13. Preview for "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" - Yay!
14. New books.
15. C napped through dinner so we got to eat baby free.
16. C in a silly, good mood when she woke up cause she had such a good nap.
17. Independence and self-reliance (in appropriate ways).
18. C's Halloween costume.
19. Iron on transfers.
20. Fusible web.

1. Leftovers for breakfast.
2. Thought provoking quotes.
3. Using the program, *almost* without thinking about it.
   
4. Asking my Higher Power to guide my conversation before answering the phone.
5. Progress.
6. Inspiration.
7. Setting up 2 intro appointments for H's violin lessons.
8. Having dinner ready for the family early because I'll be gone all evening.
9. Dried apricots.
   
10. Getting to school on time tonight.
11. Still being late cause I went the the wrong room (but meeting up with someone else who did the same thing and then walking to class together was nice).
    
12. A touching birthday meeting. So hopeful - gives me even more to look forward to.
13. Reading the Just for Today at the meeting.
14. Sitting next to a friend and talking more Legos.
15. Getting home and giving Husband my undivided attention.
16. Dropping the list of things I wanted to do and just hanging out with him for the rest of the evening.
17. Discussing how the program has worked for me so far with him and hearing his thoughts on that as well.
    
18. Ibuprofen for a wicked headache (allergies? illness?).
    
19. C watching H play with a Transformer. She finds this pretty interesting.
20. Laughter and love.
    

Creativity

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. -- A.A. Miline

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. -- Albert Einstein

Today's Inspiration and Gratitude

I made these for the downstairs bathroom. I used 2 frames I got cheap but ended up not liking much and the Amy Butler paper I got the other day. I'm pretty happy with them and can't wait to hang them! I might go potty extra just so I can look at the pretty paper - hee hee.

1. A full night's sleep.
2. Creativity.
3. Waking up to C's smiles.
4. H getting ready for school without too much extra prodding from me.
5. H wanting to walk home on her own - Ms. Independent.
6. My retirement report from the State.
7. My morning cup (0r 3) of coffee.
8. Last night's surprise Facebook message from a friend. :)
9. Lip gloss.
10. Today's call with my mentor.
11. Digging around for all my PR books to work on this lesson plan. Trip down Memory Lane!
12. Feeding C Cheerios. She likes them!
13. "Art" for the downstairs bathroom.
14. Finally ordering H's bedding.
15. A clean kitchen.
16. Doing a small, mid-week load of laundry to try and curb having so much to do on the weekends.
17. Gratitude at 7 p.m. :)
18. Watching Nanny 911 with H and discussing good behavior and bad behavior (in both children and parents).
19. Watching C play in her jumper.
20. My husband.
    

Mod podge + Amy Butler paper

= Inspiration!

1. C put herself to sleep for her nap! First time ever without fussing!
2. Sitting on the couch letting C crawl all over me and listening to her babble.
3. Funny Facebook conversation with a good friend.
4. Interesting program conversations with my sister.
5. Contemplating my Higher Power.
6. Paying bills.
7. Living on a budget today (don't always get it right but am grateful when I do).
8. Remembering to floss.
9. Restraint (but it can be hard).
10. Light and polite.
11. Giving it up to Sister's Higher Power to take care of her.
12. Trying hard to not give advice.
    
13. Showing H how to use dictionary.com.
14. Realizing after a "mini-crisis" that my phone anxiety has subsided a lot (hopefully this didn't kick it up too much).
15. Ceiling fans installed and working.
16. Efficient light bulbs.
17. Heroes season premiere!
18. Sean putting C to bed tonight.
19. Husband wanting to know if he made the list tonight! (The 20 part... Not the 10, lol)
20. Structure.

1. Going to church with my family.
   
2. Two good meetings today.
3. Someone complimenting C.
   
4. Getting so much done today.
5. All the laundry is done - AND PUT AWAY!!!!
6. Starting a new week.
7. H's funny questions.
8. The colors of the sky driving home.
9. Eating chocolate while talking to my parents on the phone.
10. Crafting with H.
11. The Hello my name is Heather blog.
12. Relaxing on the couch right now.
13. Good sleep when I can get it.
14. Finding patience.
15. Gratitude.
16. Giving.
17. Talking to my best friend on the phone.
18. Babies.
19. Sobriety.
20. My character traits - sometimes good, sometimes not.
    

1. Friday evening with my family.
2. Friday!
3. Getting the carpet cleaned at the condo.
4. Finally having an uninterrupted phone call with Best Friend!
   
5. Practicing a Just for Today - one I hadn't done yet.
6. Lunch with a friend.
7. Husband commenting on how well I handled it when I locked us out of the house. In a previous life I first would have tried to kick the door down before coming to a workable solution.
8. Enjoying myself today.
9. Surprising H.
10. Getting stuff to make a present.
11. Making said present.
12. Modge Podge.
13. Making stuff with Modge Podge.
14. Amy Butler paper - It's beautiful stuff.
15. Picking up H from school and watching her with friends before she saw me.
16. Putting more stuff away.
17. Not having to do the dishes tonight.
18. Recycling.
19. Time for myself.
20. Clean laundry.

1. Making my own caffe misto - who needs Starbucks?! (*GASP*)
2. C giggling.
3. Husband being silly this morning - I got to start the day laughing.
4. Finally naming the blog. It took me forever to come up with something!
5. Being nice to telemarketers.
6. Having a nice conversation with an appointment reminder.
7. Strong, intelligent women to learn from.
8. Another person's mistakes are a chance for me to learn and not make those same mistakes (there are plenty of different ones I will make, lol).
9. Hannah.
10. A call from Best Friend.
11. Call with Prayer Partner.
12. Today's One Day at a Time reading.
13. The dryer is connected and working.
14. Everybody Loves Raymond re-runs
15. Husband seems to be doing well and happy at work lately. I really am happy that he's happy.
16. Making peaches for C.
17. Her reaction when I fed them to her for the first time (I don't think she likes peaches).
18. Sitting on the couch with H.
19. Tomorrow's Friday.
20. A fun lunch with Sister.
    

1. Using reusable shopping bags today.
2. Farmer's market savings.
3. Getting to the library to do homework.
4. It's Wednesday!
5. Wednesday's meeting.
6. Writing about a Higher Power.
7. Reading about sanity and happiness.
8. Choice.
9. Always learning.
10. Staying in touch with good friends.
11. Staying home with my kids while they are young.
12. Payday!
13. Hearing what I needed to hear.
14. Laughing with others.
15. A compliment.
16. The gift of today.
17. Taking Martha Stewart's recipe, making it a bit easier, and having it come out great!
18. Imperfection.
19. Sleeping kids when I got home.
20. Watching the husband play the Force Unleashed on his X-box, the cut scenes are so good I feel like I'm watching another Star Wars movie!

She stands

She's starting to cruise too. It freaks me out! This is too fast!

Spinach night

1. Making C's baby food.
2. Feeding C and watching her turn into a living spinach doll.
3. Praying as a family before eating dinner.
4. Grocery shopping.
5. Cooking dinner for my family.
6. Washing C in the kitchen sink.
7. H doing her chores without fuss.
8. H doing her homework without fuss.
9. Starting a new week.
10. A gift card and thank you note from our realtor. He was more than generous!
11. Sending him a thank you note for his gift.
12. Mending Wall by Robert Frost.
13. The end of the day.
14. Kissing my kids good night.
15. A clean kitchen.
16. Sleep.
17. Coffee and 1/2 & 1/2.
18. Change.
19. Questioning.
20. Clean, cold drinking water.

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

Boundaries are so important. I think I'm going through an interesting transitional period - trying to figure myself out, re-construct myself in terms of what I thought about my childhood and family and what the reality *seems* to be. I understand that not all families are dysfunctional but all families do have problems. It's hard to know what is "normal" though. I suppose "healthy" might be a better term than "normal." "I have an idea that "healthy" is more easily qualified than "normal." But, I have been gathering that boundaries are pretty important to this "healthy functioning," as well as appropriate nurturing. Hell, I have been experiencing that this is the case first hand. My biggest issue is not with myself or how I was raised exactly, but how do I raise my children to not perpetuate dysfunction as much as possible? Also, how do I change and grow while integrating a new sense of self with my larger family while keeping in mind that they may or may not change for the better?

Mending Wall
Robert Frost

SOMETHING there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:	5
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,	10
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.	15
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
"Stay where you are until our backs are turned!"
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.	20
Oh, just another kind of outdoor game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
He is all pine and I am apple-orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.	25
He only says, "Good fences make good neighbors."
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
"Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.	30
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down!" I could say "Elves" to him,	35
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there,
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me,	40
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."

1. The kitchen is clean.
2. The laundry is hung and drying.
3. The island is painted (the one in the kitchen, not the one in the ocean - haaa haaa ha ha...) (sorry - silly humor).
4. Silly humor.
5. Babies babbling together at the meeting.
6. Listening/sharing.
7. To do list for the week.
   
8. A fun family dinner.
9. Listening to Husband pray before we ate.
10. The unknown.
11. Being unafraid.
12. C playing in the tub.
13. H helping with the baby.
14. Planning for Halloween.
15. Finishing little things even though I'm tired.
16. Following through as best I can.
17. It's getting better all the time (can't get no worse...).
18. H can walk to school from the new house.
19. Eating healthier.

1. First ever call with my new prayer partner.
2. Access to public education.
3. Having spent 2 years in a really good school district.
4. Access to higher education.
5. Blinds in our bathroom so we can shower without putting on a show for the neighborhood.
6. Blinds in our bedroom so we don't wake up to smiles from the construction workers building the house behind us.
7. Crossing so many things off my to-do list today.
8. Making a new to-do list for tomorrow.
9. Husband's big work project went well.
   
10. A healthy perspective (most of the time).
11. Clipping coupons.
12. Living close to the library.
13. Working with H to pick the paint colors for her room.
14. My family.
15. E-mail 'catch-up' with a friend who's getting married next month.
16. The new niece or nephew coming to our family early next year.
17. Good habits.
18. The courage to change.
19. All the children in our family.
20. Our health.

1. The end of a busy day.
2. Pot roast for dinner.
3. Having a less busy day planned for tomorrow.
4. Making my list of things to do.
5. Tonight's meeting.
6. C's rolly-polly antics at the business meeting.
7. Everyone's welcome and patience when I show up with the baby to meetings.
8. Turning the radio off and talking with H all the way home.
9. Rain, thunder and lightning.
10. Therapy.
11. Sharing my Yoda Lego pen with a friend. :)
12. Seeing a friend that meant to hug!
13. Being early.
14. Making it through a busy day without too much added stress.
15. Discovering the release date for Brad Paisley's new album. Goofy guitar players are hot.
16. Starting Chanukah and Christmas lists.
    
17. Feeling at home in the new home already.
18. The city lights.
19. Mentor holding the baby during the meeting even though there were so many kids in there.
20. The babysitter and H playing with C during the business meeting.

1. Greatest Gift study on Friday night.
2. Our hostess's hospitality.
3. Sitting in the room as we read and shared.
4. Cori's new baby!!!
5. Holding C as she was falling asleep tonight.
6. The movers coming tomorrow so this move can finally be done.
7. Sleep.
8. Taking my kids to see their great grandmother.
9. Not being angry or hurt during our visit - just enjoying the visit with her.
10. Being able to talk to my dad.
11. Finishing the paint in C's new room.
12. My gratitude list.
13. Picking out paint with H for her new room this week.
14. Velcro.
15. Learning new things.
16. Reading.
17. Praying and meditation.
18. My hot pad soothing my back pain.
19. The opportunity to be better.
20. Renting movies at Blockbuster cause we don't get to the theater much anymore.

1. Finally send off an email to my former co-workers to say hello and tell them I am thinking of them.
2. Planning the move with Husband.
3. The baby is down for a nap.
4. Coffee in the morning.
5. The Greatest Gift study tonight.
6. Using kindness in my behavior to set an example (instead of just telling someone how they should be doing something, lol).
7. Friday! Happy Friday!
8. Homework and school in general. I am a little sick in the head but I love school.
9. Reading.
10. Listening to an audio book with H on the ride home last night.
11. My family.
12. Good morning texts everyday from my dad. It's nice that he's thinking about me so early.
13. Laughing with Sean as he tried to pick up 2 lbs weights... (They were stuck to the finish but it looked really funny)
14. Setting a more disciplined financial program with Husband.
15. Looking forward to the future.
16. Living in the moment and enjoying it.
17. Nephew A singing, "Jingle C, jingle C..."
18. Tickling C, making her laugh and squeal.
19. Having such mature conversations with H.
20. Finishing the pink for C's room last night.

1. The baby was up before 6 but it's 9 a.m. and she's down for a nap already.
2. A quiet house this morning.
3. Being there for my sister.
4. Praying for her today. I didn't know I could do this before, now I can take an action and keep some sanity at the same time.
   
5. Hugs last night.
6. A baby free meeting!
7. The speaker last night.
   
8. Everyone asking about the baby - it was nice to feel people care.
9. Class last night. I remembered driving to school that it was 6 months to the day that C was born. We've come a long way!
10. Catching up with friends and my professor.
    
11. Heading back down to the house tonight for more painting.
12. Packing the condo up for our move next week.
13. Shooting with a friend this weekend. It's been a long time since I was out with my camera.
14. H's sense of humor.
    
15. Learning to love people for who they are.
16. Learning about myself.
17. My Yoda Lego pen.
    
18. Getting underneath anger - being able to tell Husband about what was bothering me without making it all about something he does.
19. Sleep.
20. A less chaotic life.

It's been a few days cause we've been pretty busy since the end of last week. We finally got our keys and got to spend some time painting the house. It was a lot of fun especially with our good friends there to help us - thank you so much J&R! You guys are the best. I didn't make my gratitude list for a few days but I did catch myself still recognizing things to be grateful for which was cool. However, there is something about the act of making the list that is therapeutic too. By yesterday I began to feel pretty off but I did my list again earlier today. School started again for me today. It was nice to get back to class it's been over 6 months and I missed it.

Good things:

1. Healthy children.
2. Starting the day with gratitude.
3. Getting the keys to the house and getting started on some painting.
4. My parents helping us rent out the condo so we could buy a bigger place without having to sell the current place.
5. Seeing the difference gratitude makes in my life. Just a few days off is enough to notice my perspective skewing.
   
6. A full nights sleep becoming a more frequent occurrence.
7. Class tonight.
8. Wednesday night meetings still fit into my schedule this semester even though I thought they wouldn't!
9. Call with my mentor yesterday.
10. Sobriety.
11. Reading.
12. Laughing with the sister.
13. My 4 year old nephew telling me "Emo, you know what they say - The smaller the person, the smaller the shoes." (Emo is Korean for Aunt).
    
14. Finding our Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
15. Husband supporting my need for this program.
16. Being a klutz cause it can make the simple act of walking quite funny.
17. Instant messenger so I can ask Husband little questions at work without having to call.
18. Health insurance.
19. Dental insurance.
20. Healthy children - this one is worth being double grateful for. I am so blessed.