1. The anniversary of our first date.
2. Shelly mentioning C at the meeting.
3. Knowing there is happiness and suffering, not just one or the other.
4. Grace.
5. Knowing I am powerless.
6. Knowing a higher power.
7. Coming home to Christmas lights on the house.
8. Walking with Sean, H and C around the neighborhood and looking at our neighbor's lights.
9. Our family.
10. The festive feeling.
11. Remembering to get the Sunday paper.
12. Hope.
13. No longer hanging by a thread.
14. Wanting what I have.
15. The end of a busy, but very good, weekend.
16. Sleeping children.
17. Sean getting up with C this morning so I could sleep in a bit.
18. Reading personalized license plates and occasionally getting the joke.
19. No more homework this semester.
20. Seeing my extended family this weekend.

Milestone

Sean likes to tell me that today is not our anniversary anymore because now we have a wedding anniversary. But, it's still a special day: Five years ago to the calendar day and date, we went on our first date.

1. Decorating for Hannuakah and Christmas.
2. A free pre-lit Christmas tree.
3. The menorah H made in preschool.
4. Using the little tree in our family room and putting the big tree in the front room.
5. Looking at ornaments for C's first Christmas.
6. Starting to slip into the negative family pattern and realizing it.
   
7. Removing myself from that situation.
8. Acting as I would feel.
9. Choosing to be happier and then taking actions toward that end.
10. Mashed potato soup for dinner.
11. Stuffing meatloaf for lunch tomorrow.
12. www.headbutler.com
13. Knowing I'm going to be ok regardless of the choices family members make.
14. Knowing I can love them and live my own life.
15. Knowing it's not easy but it's also not 'all or nothing'.
16. My mom.
17. Sean and our girls.
18. Interesting reading recommendations.
19. Sitting on the couch next to Sean.
20. Stretching when my body aches.
    

Thanksgiving Gratitude

1. It's 8 p.m. and the family has come and gone.
   
2. The kitchen is clean.
   
3. The baby is asleep.
4. We had a really GOOD Thanksgiving. Better than we have had in years.
5. A holiday with my family.
6. My HP. Cause I am sure there is no way the kitchen would be clean, the leftovers would be put away and I could be this happy all of my own accord.
7. Saying a little prayer.
8. Recovery.
9. Being the living example without having to say a word.
10. My grandmother's pearls.
11. Thanking my husband for working hard and taking such good care of us.
12. Thanking my daughters for being the joy of my life.
13. The sound of rain on the window.
14. Listening to N and H playing Deal or No Deal in the front room.
15. N sleeping over just cause. Not cause I have to save him from anything.
16. My program and all the people I have met this year.
    
17. Learning.
18. Open questioning.
19. Acceptance.
20. Singing Happy Birthday to A.
21. Watching C's reaction to everyone singing Happy Birthday to A.
22. Having all the food ready before everyone got here so we could eat right away (and try to avoid needless chaos that stems from low blood sugar).
    
23. Yummy yummy pies.
24. The birthday cake mom made for A.
25. Not participating in negativity.
26. Perpetuating positivity.
27. A kiss from Sean at the end of the day.
    
28. A bubble bath with C.
29. Today was a good day.
30. Making plates of leftovers for everyone to take home.
    

1. My mentor.
2. A relationship with a person who loves me, is honest with me, and doesn't always tell me what I want to hear.
3. Aspiring to do the same with all the people I love.
4. Working toward a dream.
5. Being guided to be thankful everyday so that I don't forget all the days between one Thanksgiving and the next.
6. Saving 50% on groceries.
   
7. Waiting till H gets home to watch the new Jon and Kate together.
8. Finding the support group this year.
9. Having a meeting tomorrow morning so I can kick off the Thanksgiving holiday with my family on the right spiritual note.
10. Clutter-free counter tops.
11. Becca came over and we baked pies together!!!!
    
12. One pecan, one apple and two pumpkin pies.
13. All that baking is finished and my kitchen is all clean before 9 p.m.
14. C is standing!!!!
15. Putting stuff away.
16. Opening the windows.
17. Cooler weather.
18. Avocado.
19. Our home.
20. Having my family over for Thanksgiving.

I belive...

...That we speak ourselves into being. This philosophy finally hit home for me thanks to author, Claire Fontaine. Those close to me know I've been working hard recently to speak/think/communicate (and therefore, also ACT) myself into a more enlightened, generally happier, being. However, this thought is also not original to Ms. Fontaine... Many of the wisest people in history have communicated similarly:

A man is what he thinks about all day long. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think good thoughts.

Happy Thanksgiving Week!!!!

1. Superman.
2. Wonder Woman
3. Batman.
4. Planning to cook Thanksgiving deserts with Becca.
5. Taking the turkey out to defrost.
6. New traditions for our family.
7. Planning Thanksgiving.
8. My family (extended).
9. Gratitude.
10. My daughters.
11. My husband.
12. Our health.
13. The resentment prayer (thanks again E!).
14. My best friend.
15. The Kolakowski boys.
16. A hot bubble bath.
17. Sean installing our new microwave.
18. Finishing the cabinet hardware myself.
19. Using power tools.
20. Watching C bounce in the jumper.
    

1. Baby-free for 1/2 of 1 meeting.
2. Babysitting.
3. Getting to share in love and sorrow.
4. Mentors.
   
5. My mentor.
   
6. All of the caring and love in our group.
7. Feeling a part of something positive.
8. Holding H's hand during prayer.
9. Watching C watching everyone pray.
10. Sean.
11. Our new cabinet hardware.
12. Sean installing our new cabinet hardware.
13. Grace.
14. Wanting what I have.
15. Gratitude.
16. V laughing through her pain.
17. My daughters.
18. Sleeping children.
19. A quiet house.
20. Lullabies.

Clearing out mental clutter

Thanks to Gretchen at The Happiness Project (my FAVORITE blog so far) I have been thinking about self-control.

So, all day I've been thinking about ways I exercise control in my life. Where is it necessary? Were am I expending energy that helps my life to be more balanced? And, most importantly today: Where am I just blowing valuable energy on trying to control something that perhaps I should just let go?

1. A few quiet minutes to enjoy my morning coffee before Sean came down with the baby.
2. Looking for coupons/deals for Thanksgiving dinner shopping.
3. Friday!
4. Pizza for breakfast.
5. Gathering all my coupons and making a precise list.
6. Going to the grocery store kid-free so I could concentrate on shopping.
7. Saving $97 on groceries when all was said and done. A personal best.
8. Burritos for dinner.
9. Avocado.
10. Email from David after I sent my list last night.
11. Mentor's guidance today.
12. Praying with my mentor today.
13. Being a generally happy person.
14. Being grateful for everyday.
15. Making H her favorite Starbucks drink at home (chocolate milk w/whip).
16. My ninja-themed gmail.
    
17. Praying for Becca.
18. The baby is down for the night.
    
19. Nothing major to do this weekend except focus on our family and this house.
20. Cleaning the kitchen even though I REALLY, REALLY just want to sit on my butt.

1. My mentor.
2. My mentor is "in" (Verizon).
3. A fantastic nap.
4. C slept all night!
5. I slept all night!
6. Patience.
7. Focus.
8. Productivity.
9. Creativity.
10. Inspiration.
11. Honesty.
12. Listening to H read poetry.
13. The sound of children.
14. Quiet.
    
15. Knit and Crochet Today on PBS.
16. PBS.
17. NPR.
18. Watching Sean play with C.
19. PowerPoint.
20. Our family.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

• Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
• Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.
• Knowledge is knowing that we cannot know.

1. Getting to the library again for homework.
2. Honesty.
3. Being Juli.
4. Spinach and feta quesadillas for dinner.
   
5. Meditation.
6. Napping.
7. Service.
8. Cool air on my face.
9. Smelling flowers in the air.
10. Creativity.
11. The Publicity Handbook.
12. Libraries.
13. A paradox.
14. Getting to bed earlier.
15. Waking up earlier.
16. Not wanting to get up and doing it anyway.
17. Getting H to school on time.
18. Texts from Becca.
19. Resentment prayer.
20. Acceptance.

1. Getting through our laundry 'situation' (the situation was we were way behind).
2. Being silly with Sean.
3. The meeting at the park last night.
4. C & H having fun at the park.
5. Watching C watch the people.
6. C laughing.
7. Laughing with H.
8. The Traditions.
9. A little bit of sleep when I can get it.
10. Choosing to stay home.
11. Sean
12. Becca.
13. My nephews.
14. My parents.
15. My extended family.
16. A fun family weekend.
17. My to-do list.
18. Naps.
19. Public programs.
20. Service.

1. H's violin lesson.
   
2. H's soccer game.
3. Funny e-mails from Codi and her crew.
   
4. Sharing gratitude.
5. Everyone who shares their gratitude with me!
   
6. Watching the soccer game with Sean and the baby on such a beautiful day.
7. The baby sleeps better these past few days.
8. 1/2 caff.
9. A short but refreshing nap.
   
10. Reading.
11. Seeing H choose to read on her own instead of only when she is required to for homework.
12. Noticing more often when I am "controlling" and backing off.
13. Praying for Becca.
14. Clean floors.
    
15. A clean kitchen.
16. H's violin teacher seems to be feeling much better after being out sick for a few weeks.
17. The Art of Manliness blog - http://artofmanliness.com/
18. Realizing today I felt grumpy and deciding to act as I would feel instead.
19. Realizing I need to get back to my to-do list.
    
20. Reminders from Google Calendar.
    

1. Class on Wednesday.
2. Workshopping my lesson plan with peers and getting productive criticism and advice.
3. Being late and accepting it.
4. Acceptance.
5. Wednesday's meeting.
6. Consciously seeking HP.
7. More prayer and meditation.
8. Meditation.
   
9. Aristotle's list of virtues.
10. The middle way.
11. Spirituality.
12. A full night's sleep.
13. Breastfeeding my babies.
14. Writing more.
15. A better day at work for Sean.
16. Hugs.
17. Love. Love. Love.
18. Patience. Patience. Patience. Patience.
19. Asking my Higher Power for strength.
20. Playing at the park.
    

1. More new (old) friends on Facebook!
2. Catching up with someone I haven't talked to since high school.
3. My history and good memories of growing up an Army brat. :)
4. H's day off from school for Veteran's day.
5. Being a Veteran.
6. All the service women and men who work hard every day.
7. Taking H shopping for warm clothes.
8. A gift card from her grandmother so the shopping trip didn't cost me much.
   
9. Taking the Bop magazine quizzes with H and talking about our results.
10. Not freaking out (for the moment) about how gendered this magazine is.
11. Not freaking out when H told me her friend has a boyfriend but she doesn't think they kiss.
12. Call with my mentor.
13. Looking forward to Thanksgiving.
14. Funny baby poo stories.
15. ComeBack (by Clare and Mia Fontaine)
16. clairedujour.com
17. The Happiness Project
18. Mothers and daughters.
19. Being a mother to my daughters.
20. Getting better.

1. Dinner with my family for my grandmother's 82nd birthday.
2. That my grandmother is still with us.
3. Showing H a picture of my grandfather.
4. Surprising Sean with a hazelnut coffee cause I know it's is favorite flavor.
5. Him surprising me later with my favorite chocolates! :)
6. One good turn does turn into another.
   
7. Seeing my nephews and getting hugs and kisses.
8. Trying to play Wii Tetris online with my best friend - even though it didn't work.
9. Patience.
10. Not spending extra money, even if we have it!
11. H had so much fun at her best friend's birthday.
12. More new fishies from Nancy and Rob.
13. Becca's fuel efficient and economical new car.
14. Ymmm... Cooked celery.
15. My sister.
16. My parents.
17. My daughters.
18. My husband.
19. My friends.
20. Today.

1. Homemade fruit smoothies.
2. Chunky peanut butter.
3. Time for financial program "exercise".
4. Help from nice customer services reps on my accounts.
5. Remembering my patience with them, they are doing their jobs and understand I am stressed and are willing to help (especially when I am not a bit*h to them for no reason).
6. Catching up on e-mails and closing out some "open business".
7. Call with prayer partner.
   
8. Getting out of the house to work on an assignment.
9. Sean taking the day off to watch C so I could have that few hours away that I really needed.
10. Sean's job and its great benefits (work from home, paid time off).
11. Sean's boss approving his time off.
12. Supporting Sean when his work is demanding because I know it's give and take.
13. H's first soccer practice.
14. H's best friend's birthday - she's been really looking forward to it.
15. My mom.
16. More creative holiday present ideas.
17. An opportunity to be more involved at school.
18. My first cup of coffee in the morning.
19. Fat free 1/2 & 1/2.
20. Sleep.

1. My family.
2. Our house.
3. Sean.
4. Sean's job.
5. My daughters.
6. Being the kind of mother I'd want them to be.
7. Excitement and hope in our country today.
8. The future. We don't know what will happen but I am looking forward to it.
9. Lunch and catching up with one of my closest friends.
   
10. Baby fat.
11. Baby smiles.
12. Baby laughs.
13. Acting as I would feel. Many times, this is not easy.
14. Listening to Brad's new album.
15. A good meeting today.
    
16. Volunteering to help set up next week.
17. After a hectic week I have no plans to leave the house tomorrow.
    
18. The kids are in bed.
19. Life.
20. A clean kitchen.

1. Call with my mentor today.
   
2. Limitations - trying to be realistic and acknowledge my limitations.
3. Working to let go of the things that I am not.
   
4. The paradox of happiness - sometimes being yourself means being sad.
5. I voted today!!!!!
6. Watching the news and now the polls have started to close - I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!
7. Grocery shopping.
8. Another mortgage payment made.
9. Paying bills on time.
10. Chicago-style hot dogs for dinner.
11. Hebrew National hog dogs. I like that my dinner answers to a higher authority.
12. Everyone who voted.
13. Everyone who voted for the first time.
14. Talking about school with H.
    
15. Giving her my undivided attention.
16. Not judging or jumping to conclusions, just listening to my daughter.
17. C is taking a good afternoon nap.
18. New Brad Paisley album today!
19. Sean stopping to get the album for me on his way home.
20. Joy and laughter in our house.
    

How to be Juli

I am a fan of The Happiness Project, a blog by Gretchen Rubin. I came across this post in her blog and it struck me. I've been thinking about these words for days:

...it makes me sad to realize my limitations. The world offers so much!--and I am too small to appreciate it. The joke in law school was: "The curse of Yale Law School is to try to die with your options open." Which means -- at some point, you have to pursue one option, which means foreclosing other options, and to try to avoid that is crazy. Similarly, to be Gretchen means to let go of all the things that I am not -- to acknowledge what I don't encompass.

But it also makes me sad because, in many ways, I wish I were different. One of my Secrets of Adulthood is “You can choose what you do, but you can’t choose what you like to do.” I have a lot of notions about what I wish I liked to do, of the subjects and occupations that I wish interested me. But it doesn’t matter what I wish I were like. I am Gretchen.

Read the full post here: http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2008/10/paradoxes-of-ha.html

1. I returned my uncle's call and he said he just wanted to catch up and tell me he loves and misses me.
   
2. Today I can believe him and tell him I love him too and mean it.
3. It is what it is and it's OK!
4. Asking my HP for guidance.
5. Cleaning the house.
6. Getting back on track with the laundry.
7. Today did not go according to plan but it still went ok.
   
8. Starting over tomorrow.
9. Going to vote tomorrow!!!!
10. We are so excited to see what will happen tomorrow. It's going to be an exciting day!
11. Jon & Kate plus 8.
    
12. Sitting in bed while I type my list.
13. The baby was a crab all day but she went to sleep early.
14. Patience.
15. Bleach.
16. A hot shower.
17. Laughter.
18. Change.
19. Stability.
20. Self discovery.

1. Halloween with our kids.
2. Deciding to go out all together instead of leaving someone home to pass out candy.
   
3. Leaving candy out on the porch and hoping no one grabbed it all up - people seemed to only take a fair share and it worked out.
4. C's first Halloween.
5. After being sick since Thursday, Sean and I are both feeling better.
   
6. Compassion.
7. Codi.
8. The Kolakowski boys.
   
9. Chocolate.
10. Sean.
11. Our kids.
12. Playing Monopoly with H and Sean.
13. H hanging in there for much longer than she wanted because Sean and I were getting competitive and didn't want to end the game early.
14. Finally remembering AAA batteries so we could also play Operation.
15. Watching H play Tetris.
16. Playing Tetris with Sean - it was a gaming weekend for this family, lol.
17. Gratitude.
18. Chatting with Becca.
19. Making my to-do list for the week.
20. Getting up early to exercise.