Happiness = Trying something new!

I've decided to move my blog to Wordpress. I am still setting things up and tweaking so I'll post updates and such here for a bit longer while I move things over.

Click here to see Wake Up Laughing on Wordpress.

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happiness gratitude inspiration creativity

Month one of Happiness (or: One Month of Happiness) (Or: It's February)

So, I made it one month! If I had to assign a word to January to sum up the first month of my happiness project, I'd have to say: Splendid. Perfect? Nope - not remotely! Overall, it went really well even with the start of a new semester, frequently not sleeping through the night, and a case of mastitis (nursing mothers beware, not fun). I feel like this month I managed to make some sustained changes.

January's resolutions revolved around Order. It was a wonderful way to start the year. I divided my resolutions into two categories initially:

General Resolutions Create frequently. No new books. Shop local. Cultivate poverty. De-clutter. Wear my hair down. Put on makeup. Eat healthy. Be active. Give.

January Resolutions Make the bed. Clear my closets. Tackle a nagging task. Restore, maintain, organize. Use my to-do list. Identify the problem. Follow the “one-minute rule.” Observe the evening tidy-up.

By mid-month a few of the General Resolutions had been combined into January's, and some had to be dropped all together. One of the things I've learned about happiness - I must be both disciplined and flexible. I used charts to keep a daily log of which resolutions I kept everyday and I was most successful at:

• Implementing an evening tidy-up (which also led to a morning tidy-up as well, very nice)
  
• Making the bed.
• Tackle a nagging task.
  
• Using my to-do list.
• Creating frequently (sometimes this meant getting creative with dinner, sometimes it meant a knit/crochet project that could be finished in a day or two, sometimes it was a blog post, etc.).
  
• Wearing my hair down.
• Finally, by the end of the month I was also focusing on eating healthier and getting the baby out for a walk in the mornings.

I had to stop worrying about the "clear my closets" and "following the one-minute rule" resolutions all together. Those just weren't happening and I started to feel guilty for the lack of stars in those columns. However, instead of wasting energy trying to fit those in (especially as I started to get sick), I decided to focus on what was actually going well and make sure I kept it up. In the General Resolution's category I realized things like "shop local" and "no new books" were related to "cultivating poverty." And, "cultivating poverty" is really more of a commandment than a resolution so back to the drawing board on that one...

The week I got sick things fell apart, the dishes were piling up, the bed wasn't made, and I was *NOT HAPPY.* But, I learned from it. After a few days of letting everything go and being discouraged, I got over myself. Even though I didn't feel better yet, I decided to get back into my routine. An evening of reviewing my commandments got me back into the swing of things, I think. I remembered that I would "do it now and finish it," and even though I felt physically horrible from the infection I managed to find it within myself to "act as I would feel."

It worked, though it wasn't easy. I took one day to suck it up and stick to as many resolutions as possible. By the next day, I had gotten a decent night's sleep, the antibiotics started doing their thing, and order was restored. I also had a very neat realization through this process: There was a time when a set back like getting sick, or starting a new school semester, would have been too much for me to keep my resolutions going. So far this year, I have been able to handle those changes and stick to my project - Happiness!

Ok, I'm off to review February's resolutions. I'll post about those tomorrow.

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happiness gratitude inspiration creativity

A permission slip for Happiness (Happiness = 1st Guest Post!)

Today marks a happiness milestone for the Wake Up Laughing blog - my first guest post! I decided to start a guest post series to provide a space for others to share about happiness in their own lives. I'm honored that the first guest post comes from a dear friend. I loved her take on signing her own permission slip to be happy. I love that she acknowledges that the decision to be happy can be a challenge but she's willing to embrace happiness today. As I read her words, it seemed to me like the last paragraph almost turned into a prayer to happiness, and how sometimes all it takes is a re-framing to see that there is a blessing to be found everyday. It may take a reminder every morning, personally sometimes I have to re-choose happiness a few times a day as I notice myself slip into negativity. But, all that matters is reminding myself: I did sign my permission slip...

So, without further ado:

Today, I sign my permission slip to be HAPPY

Letting go of negative feelings is one of the best things I can do to harvest my happiness. It seems silly to give myself "permission" to be happy, but ultimately, it is in my own hands. I figured out that I don't have to be stressed or unhappy if I just don't allow myself to feel that way. My expectations and standards are simply "mine" to be disappointed with if things aren't to my satisfaction. I have the choice to feel what I feel. It seems that feeling dissatisfied or unhappy is much easier than allowing myself to just be happy.

However, life is too short to constantly push happiness away from my reach. It stares me in the face everyday. The real challenge is can I, or will I, embrace it? When I watch the news, how many times do I see stories of people facing hardship or losing their loved ones? For me, it's a constant reminder of how much I DO have, as opposed to what I DON'T have. So, my happiness may not be perfect or satisfying by another's standards, but it doesn't matter to anyone but me.

Today, I will be happy to be alive, remembering someone else may not have been blessed with another day. Today, I will be happy that I have family or loved ones to share with, remembering there is someone in the world who may have no one. Today, I will be happy that I am in good health, remembering someone's health may be failing them. I will remember there are many things that could be worse when I start to think that happiness is beyond my reach.

Today, I give myself permission to be happy - to indulge in the simple blessings I am given everyday...

- Ahrijona Kimchi Mama

(PS - Would you like to write a guest post on happiness? If so, please leave a comment letting me know or send me an e-mail at jules57 at gmail dot com.)
(PPS - Remember, to use the symbol for at and a period for dot.)

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happiness gratitude inspiration creativity

Today...

...Be the change you want to see in the world. -Gandhi

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happiness gratitude inspiration creativity

Finished poncho

Finished poncho, originally uploaded by jules57.

I finished this for H today. She's going to wear it to school tomorrow.

On Happiness and Service

I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve. - Albert Schweitzer

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happiness gratitude inspiration creativity

Honoring Inspiration

A few weeks ago something came to me, a realization about my recent self. The realization: As I take time to discover and cultivate who I am, I notice the roles that used to overwhelm me are now inspiring me.

These roles - mother, sister, wife, daughter, friend, employee, co-worker, supervisor, student – could each feel so daunting just a few years ago. I didn't even know there was inspiration in front of me and I had no idea how to approach life with creativity. I was so resentful, drowning in obligations to anything and everything in life with no time for me. Looking back, I realize that having no time for me was partially my own fault - I wasn't making any time. If I don't make myself a priority, it is no one else's job to do so either.

Now I get to look at who I am. It’s not that I’m not tired, or that I don’t get occasionally frustrated, but I have started on a journey to develop myself. As I focus on my happiness project I find I do truly love being a mother, a wife, a student, daughter, friend…

I was recently lucky enough to be able to let go of quite a few things that were a source of negative energy and in doing so it seemed I was suddenly compelled to approach the roles in front of me with creativity. My new mantra: Be ready to be inspired by what is in front of me today. When I start with myself, I can see my roles as a gifts in my life. There are new gifts in my day, every day. Inspiration is everywhere once I open myself up to receive it. All it took was setting some boundaries (easier said than done but that’s another discussion) and then focusing on being Juli and looking for what that means.

Today that means:

• Bring order to my house.
• Improvise.
• Read.
• Write.
• Create (recently this has been a lot of crochet projects).
• Practice gratitude.
• Laugh with my kids.
• Laugh with my husband.
• Learn something new.
• Cook new things or make our old favorites in new ways.
• Get enough sleep.
• Seek the goodness in life – in the people around me, in the media I consume, in the moment that I am in.

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happiness gratitude inspiration creativity

Daily Routines Revisited

I realized that in my original post about routines I didn't really include what my routine consists of so here goes. Ideally, this is what my day looks like:

• Wake up
  
• Get H off to school
  
• Breakfast, observe the morning clean-up
• Rest of the morning varies depending on need: run errands, check emails, make calls, pay bills, vegg out, go to appointments, etc.
• Lunch and nap time for C
  
• C naps, I have "office hours" for crafting, emails, writing, homework, making calls
• C gets up, H gets home from school
• Snack time/Homework time
• Cook dinner
• Dinner
• Observe the evening clean-up & family time
• H gets free time, C gets ready for bed
• C goes to bed, I take my evening time for emails, writing, to-do list review
  
• H goes to bed
• Sean and I vegg and hang out
• Bedtime
  

Most days look *something* like this but it's not perfect. I'm glad I typed it out though. The two areas I am really working hard on are observing the morning and evening clean-up consistently. It only makes my life easier when I do. I noticed as those small tasks pile up, the free space in my mind gets limited too. It's bizarre. I suspect the amount of dishes on the sink is inversely proportional to the amount of creativity I can access (both literally and figuratively). Interestingly enough though, when the kitchen is clean - creativity seems endless.

And with that, I'm off to do the dishes....

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happiness gratitude inspiration creativity

Daily Routines

I came across this interesting blog on the daily routines of different types of people. My January resolutions include setting up a doable routine for myself and my family. Since it's been on my mind so much I've also sought out and enjoyed hearing about other people's routines.

I have to admit, as much as I have thrived on routine and structure in the past I have not been very good at setting it up for myself until now (knock wood). Using charts for the first time, and actually keeping the amount of change small (one new thing a week) has helped in my success (yes, I know, it's only been 14 days) so far.

Care to share? What does your routine consist of? What have you done in the past to help ensure yourself success when changing your routine or implementing a new one?

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happiness gratitude inspiration creativity

A short review of Week 1 (And: On Sabotaging Happiness)

The first week of my happiness project went pretty well. I have charts with nifty stars on them where I kept track of both the daily specifics and my January resolutions in general. Looking back on the week I see that I started out of the gate at a sprint - I was so excited to begin working on happiness! And, it worked! It was a pretty happy week. However, I see a drop in my activity level toward the end of the week (yay charts!). As I begin Week 2 I would like to fight through the end-of-the-week-lag and see if I end up with more stars than Week 1. That's my challenge to keep me engaged.

On a larger level in working on how I practice happiness, I took at look at where my own behavior might be occasionally sabotaging my happiness.

Here are a few behaviors I've identified:

Expectations
Especially when I feel disappointed with a person or situation, I have begun to ask myself a few questions:

1. Has this person or situation really done something to upset me?
   
2. OR, did I have some expectation that the person would do something, or that a situation would go a certain way, and then I became unhappy when things did not go as I expected?
3. Have I communicated my desires realistically, specifically and clearly?

I think the 3rd question here is key. Clear communication helps me to get those expectations out on the table. But, "letting go" is also important. That's just good practice in life anyway. Sometimes I have an expectation that, upon evaluation, just doesn't really matter ultimately. Then, it's time to LET GO...

Resentments
When I begin to feel unhappy with what seems to be a resentment I remember that everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves (Jung). When I am disturbed I ask myself:

1. What is it about me that should be addressed in this situation?
   
2. How can I make it better?
   
3. What can I learn?

I don't usually get there right away, but most of the time when I focus the reflection on myself I am able to (eventually) spot my responsibility - or "my part" as they say. When I am not able to see what I can learn/change in a resentment situation, I am working on patience. Here, "there is only love" comes in handy. If I can't act with love, I don't act (more realistically - this is the attitude I am trying to adopt, it's not perfect).

Fear
In his song, The Heart of Life, John Mayer says, fear is a friend who's misunderstood. That has stayed with me. My big questions here are:

1. What am I afraid of?
2. Why am I afraid of this (is it a reasonable fear)?
3. How can I let go of this fear?

Even though it's not easy to just "let go" of a fear, once I've truly identified and acknowledged it, I am able to find a way to work through it instead of allowing it to continue to control me. I challenge myself to "be unafraid." Another way to phrase question 3: What would I do if I were unafraid? I have found that I would much rather do something even if I am afraid, than regret not doing anything at all (especially due to fear).

There are more but I think that's enough unpacking for a Sunday night. What behaviors do you think might occasionally sabotage your happiness?

Happiness is a Reading List

Here is my reading list for this spring:

• Free Play: The power of improvisation in life and the arts
  
• Going Sane: Maps of Happiness
• On Being Certain: Believing you are write even when you're not
• Personality: What makes you the way you are
• Stumbling on Happiness
• thanks! How the new science of gratitude can make you happier
• The Last Lecture
  
• The Nicomachean Ethics

So far, I have read The Last Lecture and parts of The Nicomachean Ethics and Going Sane. Right now I am reading Free Play because it is due back to the library the soonest. :)

Any other recommendations? What have you read that has given you personal insights on happiness?

Happiness Day 2 - Resoultions

My resolutions for this year work 2 ways right now. I'm not sure they will stay that way but I have some general resolutions and I also 'borrowed' a copy of Gretchen's resolution chart. She's willing to share so check out her site and e-mail her for a copy if you like.

To track progress I printed out my General Resolutions (ok, i know that chart needs a snazzier name...) and the January Resolutions to post over my desk. Because I am on overdrive with getting this started, getting the house in order and getting ready to go back to school I am following Gretchen's resolutions with only minor tweaks. The focus for January is to get things in order.

General Resolutions

1. Create frequently.
2. No new books.
   
3. Shop local.
4. Cultivate poverty.
5. De-clutter.
6. Wear my hair down.
7. Put on makeup.
8. Eat healthy.
   
9. Be active.
10. Give - my time, my attention, myself.
    

Janurary Resolutions: Boosting Energy

1. Make the bed.
2. Clear my closets.
3. Tackle a nagging task.
4. Restore, maintain, organize.
5. Use my to-do list.
6. Identify the problem.
7. Follow the “one-minute rule.”
8. Observe the evening tidy-up.

It seems to me that some of my general resolutions (like 1, 4, 10...) might cross the line to commandments and are not as specific as they could be. What do you think?

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happiness

Happiness Day 1 - Commandments

1. Be Juli
2. Be grateful.
3. Be of service.
   
4. Do it now and finish it.
   
5. Identify the problem.
   
6. There is only love.
7. Enjoy the process.
   
8. Act as I would feel.
9. Be light and let go.
10. Be unafraid.
11. Be orderly.
12. Be flexible.

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happiness

So long 2008!

2008 is over! Wow. I am *almost* speechless (ahem... we know that's a lie. i am never speechless) when I think about how much has changed since the beginning of this year. All in all, it has been a good year though.

2008 Highlights

• January - Sean and I got married.
• March - C was born.
• April - Harrison was born. H turned 8.
• May - I turned 30.
  
• June - Visited Codi, H visited her dad (her first out of state visit). I bought a sewing machine.
• July - Started this blog.
• August - Went back to school.
  
• September - We bought a house.
• October - Visited NY to introduce C to Sean's family. I got new crochet hooks and some knitting needles.
• November - Hosted Thanksgiving at our house for the first time.
• December - Got an A in the class I took. Hosted Hanukkah and Christmas at our house too. Made my first baby sweater for C.
  

I guess it might seem funny that I put the sewing machine and the crochet/knitting stuff on there but for me it's symbolic of a much more creative frame of mind. I also feel like it's important to note that since the fall I began to re-frame my life through the philosophy of gratitude and I began the preliminary works of a new project (inspired by Gretchen Rubin) to focus on happiness in my life. I'm excited about the new year, I have some very specific plans to expand my studies of gratitude and my personal happiness project. It will be interesting to look back at the end of 2009 and see where the journey has taken me.

Happy new year!

Joseph Campbell

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.

My first sweater

It's done!, originally uploaded by jules57.

Santa Hat

Santa Hat, originally uploaded by jules57.

Finished today - along with 2 scarves. I'll post pictures of those later.

I finished more pinwheels last night too so I'm going to try assembling the mobile tonight - I hope. I supposed I might just sleep after being exhausted from all the creating!

Now the question is: What to create for dinner?

Small pinwheel, medium pinwheel

2 pinwheels, originally uploaded by jules57.

A closer shot of 2 pinwheels. There will be 3 different sizes.

Making Pinwheels

Making pinwheels, originally uploaded by jules57.

We were rained in today so I caught up on a project for C's room. I've been working on it since July...

Making poms

Making poms, originally uploaded by jules57.

Multitasking = giving the baby a bath + sitting on the floor next to the tub making poms for Christmas ornaments and H's stocking.